How Not to Pray

It is with the Lord’s Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13 that Jesus teaches us how to pray. But did you know that He also gave specific instructions on how not to pray? In today's video, I’ll teach you 3 ways Jesus specifically instructs His followers not to pray. Enjoy!

I have a video called “How to Pray,” where we teach a simple 3-step process to pray based on the Lord's Prayer. The three steps are reverencing God, repenting of what's not of God, and requesting what we need and desire from God.

We called it our 3 “R” prayer process to learn how to pray. As important as it is to know how to pray, it's also important to know how not to pray. You maybe wondering, is that even a thing. Stay with me here. As believers and friends of God, we do have a lot of liberty when it comes to prayer; we are not restricted when it comes to where we pray or the structure of our prayers, or even what we pray for.

The Lord's prayer that Jesus used as an example to teach His disciples and us how to pray is just that; an example to teach us how to pray. At the same time, Jesus also provided instruction on things we should not do when we pray. We find His instructions in Matthew 6:7-8 which reads:

As we look at this scripture, I want to point out the specific acts Jesus does not want his followers to do when praying.

1. Do Not Pray Like the Hypocrites

During Jesus' ministry, He went out to teach, heal and set many people free. He was generous, kind and loving. Still, He always proclaimed the truth. One of the groups of people that Jesus frequently spoke truth against were the hypocritical religious leaders of His time.

Jesus' most important commandment was to love God and love others. Although these religious leaders that Jesus is speaking about in Matthew 6 knew the law and maybe even followed most of it, their greatest sin was the condition of their hearts. So Jesus combats their hypocrisy and reveals the fact that you can follow the rules and still not love God. You can follow the law and still not love people. 

If there is anything we need to know about God, it's that He cares deeply about the condition of our hearts. So when Jesus is teaching about prayer, he makes note to say, “do not be like the hypocrites,” because we can pray and still not have a heart for God. We can pray and still not sincerely love God. We can pray and still not know God.

So the lesson here is to pray, not to look like a Christian, but to receive the power from God to actually be a Christian. Our desire when we pray must not only be to appear religious, or do it because we feel like we are obligated, but to pray because we love God. And we develop that heart for God the more we know Him. So our seeking of Him in prayer or any other spiritual discipline should be for the sake of God Himself.

2. Do Not Pray to Be Seen

Next, Jesus tells His followers not to pray with the intent of being seen by others. He instructs us to go to our rooms, shut the door, and pray in secret. Now we might not always be able to physically go to our rooms and shut our doors. When we pray, Jesus means that we should not pray to be seen by others, but pray to be seen by God. As we seek God in prayer, our heart should be for connection with him, not attention from others. When it comes to prayer, it's all about God. Prayer should be personal, not public. The hypocritical religious leaders that Jesus was talking about prayed only to be seen by others. Their hearts werer not to connect with God, which is the very point and purpose of prayer. Now, this does not mean that we are not to ever pray publicly. You may be called to lead prayer at your church, or pray with a Bible study or small group.

We should pray publicly with others. In Matthew 18:20 Jesus says:

It is fine to pray publicly and it is necessary much of the time, but Jesus' instructions on prayer still apply here. Our hearts should be to connect with God, and not be seen by others. 

I hope that you've had the chance to see the movie “War Room”, starring Priscilla Shirer. In the movie, Priscilla plays a character named Elizabeth Jordan who is desperately fighting for her marriage by using the power of prayer. So in her closet, she creates a secret place to pray to God that she calls her war room. Throughout the movie, we see her personal prayer in her war room being answered and manifested publicly in her actual life. One time she is praying fervently for her husband, who at the time is on a date with another woman. So she is praying at the same time that He is about to throw His whole marriage away on a date with this mistress. Now, the interesting aspect of her prayer in this particular part of the movie is that she knows where her husband is and what he's doing. So she could have taken matters into her own hands, gone to the restaurant, and caused a huge scene. But instead in her secret place, she surrenders the situation to God and God answers publicly. In fact, her husband becomes sick and has to leave the date. Go figure. 

Throughout the movie, we see the power of prayer and surrender to God in our quiet places, making space for Him to do what we can not. We see Jesus' words, “your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” lived out in the life of Elizabeth Jordan. As we pray, we must know we don't need to be seen by others for God to answer our prayers. We can go to our secret place and trust Him with everything else. 

3. Do Not Pray in Vain Repetitions

Finally, Jesus tells us not to pray with vain repetitions or empty words. Like with the other ways we are instructed not to pray, this also is a heart issue. When we approach God sincerely, we don't have to have all the right words or the correct speech. Jesus tells us that Gentiles or non-believers use many words when they pray thinking, that this will ensure that God hears them. This is not how Jesus instructs believers to pray because that's not how prayer works.

Prayer is not a formula to control or manipulate God into hearing us and giving us what we want. Jesus assures us that not only does God hear us, but that He knows the heart of our prayer before we even send it up to heaven. 

So there is no word count when it comes to prayer. Prayer just needs to be real. Sometimes my prayers are one word, “Jesus”. Sometimes that's all the strength we have to say, depending on what we're facing and God hears those prayers too. 

I think of Elijah in 1 Kings 18, who prayed a few sentences at Mount Carmel and God heard and answered with the consuming fire. It doesn't take much and that’s a blessing because sometimes we don't have much. You may be a busy mom or work is demanding.

And so maybe you're in a season where your prayers are shorter than you would like. Let this truth encourage you: brief prayer is better than no prayer.

As Jesus instructs us on how to pray and how not to pray, I hope you realize how much freedom we have when it comes to prayer. We don't have to worry about our words or the length of our prayers being perfect or what others think.

We have a loving God who is simply excited to hear from us when we approach him with a sincere heart. Prayer is not about being perfect. It's about connecting with the God who perfectly loves us. 

Now I’d love to hear from you, Beloved. Is there any bad prayer habit that you need to cut? Let’s encourage one another in the comments.

Before you go, I want to invite you to download my free 5-day prayer guide so you can put into practice what we’ve learned today about prayer and see how just like breathing, prayer can become a natural life-giving part of your everyday life. Simply click the free resources link in the description of this video. 

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Thank you so much for watching today and until next time, be beautiful, be blessed, and beloved.